I am worried. It aches. Not that much but it still does. Fans... those fans - they never fail to hurt me again. Again and again their needle pierces my heart. Or that´s at least what they want to do and try to do - they can´t pierce through my heart because it´s shielded by faith. And maybe... maybe it´s not fans, the hopeless ones that keep disapointing me, maybe it´s the faith itself. This faith... hurts. Sometimes it hurts more, sometimes it hurts less but it hurts. Want me to tell you a secret? I´m not complaining because that pain reminds me that I´m still alive, that it´s not the end yet and that I do believe. This faith makes me suffer and makes me the happiest at the same time. Am I going insane? I went insane a long time ago. Probably only those who went insane are able to keep that fragile thing. Faith. Did I say fragile? It´s unbreakable. It´s strong. It´s powerful. But it´s fragile because it´s like a glass. You hold it and hold it and hold it but the very moment you let it go for just a second it will fall. It will break. And won´t come back. Until you buy a new glass. Can you buy faith? Can you restore it? People have done it before. They claim they did. But... they´re liars. A faith isn´t something that you regain back so easily, those who think they lost it and regained it again - they never really lost it or it wasn´t a faith to begin with. How can you know it is a faith? You don´t just decide. You don´t just say: "I believe." Maybe it´s that pain. That same pain that makes my heart hurt, that pain that is the cause of my tears. Believers are masochists. That pain is a blessing. Blessing from the blue blue sky, from heaven you could say. But damn... it hurts.
Found this on PostSecret.
It just made me think about things.
This faith... I´m not letting go of it. No matter what. I will hold on to it until the very second it breaks my heart.
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