24501: December 2009

Dearest Linhieee,

I am worried. It aches. Not that much but it still does. Fans... those fans - they never fail to hurt me again. Again and again their needle pierces my heart. Or that´s at least what they want to do and try to do - they can´t pierce through my heart because it´s shielded by faith. And maybe... maybe it´s not fans, the hopeless ones that keep disapointing me, maybe it´s the faith itself. This faith... hurts. Sometimes it hurts more, sometimes it hurts less but it hurts. Want me to tell you a secret? I´m not complaining because that pain reminds me that I´m still alive, that it´s not the end yet and that I do believe. This faith makes me suffer and makes me the happiest at the same time. Am I going insane? I went insane a long time ago. Probably only those who went insane are able to keep that fragile thing. Faith. Did I say fragile? It´s unbreakable. It´s strong. It´s powerful. But it´s fragile because it´s like a glass. You hold it and hold it and hold it but the very moment you let it go for just a second it will fall. It will break. And won´t come back. Until you buy a new glass. Can you buy faith? Can you restore it? People have done it before. They claim they did. But... they´re liars. A faith isn´t something that you regain back so easily, those who think they lost it and regained it again - they never really lost it or it wasn´t a faith to begin with. How can you know it is a faith? You don´t just decide. You don´t just say: "I believe." Maybe it´s that pain. That same pain that makes my heart hurt, that pain that is the cause of my tears. Believers are masochists. That pain is a blessing. Blessing from the blue blue sky, from heaven you could say. But damn... it hurts.

Found this on PostSecret.

It just made me think about things.

This faith... I´m not letting go of it. No matter what. I will hold on to it until the very second it breaks my heart.

Close and far away, far away and close at the same time. But close - what meaning does it hold when you just can´t deny the distance? Kilometres and kilometres apart...

A little selfish girl desperately trying to get c l o s e r . . .

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24th December

Originally, I had a photo taken from the car. Well, you should know already that I´m kinda clumsy and useless so I accidentally deleted it. ^^; So well, the firsst photo is already us eating dinner on Christmas Eve, because - and I have no idea why - we - Czechs - celebrate Christmas Eve on the 24th.

These photos are so confusingly similar, sorry about that~ ^^;

Close-up? xD

We ate a lot.

So umm. Time for introduction.
This is my mommy, the person I love the most, the one that always stands by me. ^^
Her name´s Alena, age: 38.

This is my grandfather, my dad´s father. He talks a lot. Sometimes too much - no one is able to listen anymore. ^^;; He breeds bees. ;D

Daddy~
Bald, apparently. :D He´s choleric, but he cares about the family. Loves my mommy very much. Our relationship is not that great, we don´t talk to each other much but well - he´s my father. So I guess it´s just given that I´d like him~ :)

And this is my grandmother. She worries a lot. A lot a lot a lot. Kind person. :) Oh, they argue with my grandfather very often~ I guess the love between them disappeared. ^^; She´s much younger than him, I don´t know the exact number but about 7-9 years younger. Gave birth to 3 children - my father, aunt and uncle. My father´s 37, aunt is older, uncle much younger.

In order to look cooler wore glasses. For 5 minutes.

She worries every minute, every second - about everyone and everything. ^^; Or maybe she´s praying in her heart. My grandma believes in God.

Being silly. ;D <3

Talking about the happenings during the year we haven´t visited.

"Spontaneous" portraits. ;D

My grandma didn´t have a Christmas tree this year so there was at least this homemade (!) candle that saved our lives later...

... because the electricity went out. xD Exclusive photos with flash. ;DDD

(Why does it look like no one even noticed? ^^;;)

And here it ends because everyone ate and drank too much, plus in the total darkness... We fell asleep. ^^;;

25th December

Grandma preparing breakfest~

The mug-iee on the right side is mine. ^^

Still loving each other even after 16 years together. ^^ ♥

My granfather brought them to show me. Newborn little bunnies. ;__; ♥

The white one...

...and the black one. Together they´re perfect. ♥

Cooking, cooking - lunch already~

Love is in the air... ? ;D

And then I left them. Went outside to take some photos for you. ^^
Grandparents live in the country, in the south of Czech Rep. (I live in the north and in a town :D) ^^

Their unbelievably old and unbelievably cool car ;D
There´s a bit of snow, do you see it? ^^ But it all melted by the morning next day.

Garage. ^^

And the beautiful sky ♥

That´s the building where they live. It was once a school, that´s why it looks... the way it looks. :D It´s divided into two apartments, my grandparents live in the left one. (:D)

Cool family, huh? :D
Cock-iee and his girls on a walk. ;D

The rest of village.

When I came back, my aunt and uncle were there. (Not a couple, they´re siblings.) So uncle first - his name´s Alexej, he´s young and looks scary, haha. ;D But he´s a nice guy, really. ^^

And my aunt. Older than my father. A music teacher. Has two sons - one is a very talented musician, the other one is disabled~~ She had and has a hard life. Yet she manages to smile for us. :) ♥

And so umm yea. We ate again. xD

Somewhen (?) I took photos of all the rooms in the house, haha ;D
Kitchen~

Living room~

Bathroom~ (xD)

After the lunch or dinner or what was it again ^^; my aunt invited us to her apartment - the last time we were there it was empty. E m p t y, becuase she just bought it. So we were curious how much of a progress she did... ^^

The street~

On our way ^^

And here we are. ^^ Her apartment is so comfortable~~ She really can be proud of herself because she did all this by herself~~ We´re proud too ^^

Here´s the living room. My mommie. Found a sheep...