I believe...
that one can fall in love at first sight, though I told you that it wasn't possible
I only hid this thought from you because I was afraid
that you would look at me as if I was careless and hasty.
Seoul – the sun was rising up high
There was no doubt that Mnet needed a new Creativity Director. They certainly ran out of idea for a surprise insa. Last episode, Yunho painfully watched Daesung dressing up in a set of sickly thin tuxedo in freezing snow, singing his throat out like an idiot in front of a female dorm, just to satisfy every fan girl’s dream of the perfect serenade. Not to mention, the time FT Island leader had to wear the sickly sweaty Shrek costume in the middle of June, confused the poor girl with weird stare and random “act-cute” concept. Those incidents were just some of idols’ misery. Thanks to the existence of (of course) Mr. Controlling PD – who thought too highly of himself, and Miss Cheesy Script writer – whom Changmin bet upon his own food on the impossibility of her so-called dream man, not to mention the seven demanding camera men whom Changmin (again, him, who else would give these kind of remark but him) had politely drew the parallel comparison to seven beautiful creatures in children’s fairy tale: Seven Dwarves – in short.
Yunho must have dropped dead asleep by this moment but not for that thin file of May’s resume. The sound from the background, of those I-think-my-idea-is-best crew fighting over the so-called “perfect”, “international”, “world standard” love at first sight scenario plan went on and on. Isn’t it amazing? A mouth full of air, if spoken in the appropriate moment, with thoughtfulness and sincerity and in decent volume could be music to the ears, like JaeJung’s ever husky voice full of concern and care for Yunho in their secret conversation during the darkest time of DBSK life, like Junsu’s cheerful high peek dolphin scream. It was not the content of those conversations Yunho was pretty much disapproved of, perhaps, it was the power-lust intention that turned him off. What should he call this kind of sound? Changmin would certainly smirk and gave it an inappropriate nick name: “cacophony”. However, to Yunho, at the moment, they were just mere noise.
His mind certainly drifted off till his glance stopped and glued on a spring green dress in winter. For heaven sake, in this kind of weather, when people covered themselves in grey and black coat, trying to preserve that little warmth inside, she brought spring back to Seoul. He always loved green, but never had he found such a pleasure to the eyes. He knew it was her, from the moment she walked out of the immigration point. Her long black hair cascaded till her waist line, reflected the shine of the rare sun in winter. In this time and age, when girls lust over SNSD’s colorful hair, especially Jessica’s blond or even JaeJoong’s once in a while bleach shade, he longed for such natural beauty. Though he rarely got the chance to stay his color (SM and Lee Soo Man’s ideal of “the” big-weird-absurdly abnormal hairstyle were always full of craps to him), if given the authority, he would do just the same thing he did back then in high school. He would dye his hair back to black whenever he returned home as his parents’ son not the foreign Asian star. To hell with all those “dark chocolate” brown, “California sunshine” blond, he was born with black hair, and damn, he always loved it.
He continued his newly found joy to kill time – while you-all-knew-who still enjoyed their endless fight: observing her, not like a predator to a prey – God knew his heart he was not here to “eat her up” or something of such manner, more or less, he felt like a care-giver to a lost soul. He wondered if he were in this situation, what he would do to approach her. God knew His child. Yunho had never had the guts to make such a move. Thinking of all those years when all he did was mere fan-boy-ing over S.E.S Eugene, he did not think he changed much. Probably he would sing that song in Changmin’s ipod – what was that again? The freaking depressing English song which Yuchun spent half a day translating the lyric to his members… Oh… right! “You're beautiful”. Right, that’s the song, same name with the movie who royally beat his first drama attempt. That’s how he remembered it.
- “Camera…CAMERA!!! ROLL!!! For heaven’s sake can you be faster? ZOOM IN NOW!!! GOD BLESSES US!!! Such a scene! Totally CF quality”
On the very top of his lung, the PD was screaming and pushing the crew to capture the precious moment. Some of them were in perfect stage of bewilderment for such unexpected God’s gift incident, some of them snapped off and quickly try to fix the camera, the microphone. The whole crew turned chaos. However, Yunho was standing like a status, leaning against the column.
- She is quite “something”, isn’t she?
His manager whispered into his ears – which to Yunho was an absolutely redundant statement and distraction to the music to his ears. “Balloon” – he smiled without realizing his own voice humming along with the particularly cheerful tune. A baby, “the” girl in spring green dress, a piano, his song – the perfect moment.
Now that he thought back, it was perhaps that particular moment of coincident/God’s plan, Yunho stepped a step closer to the edge of the cliff – at the verge of falling deep in to something he knew not too sure of. Or perhaps… without him having an clue, he had started to drown
***
May was alone, she smoothened her crumbled dress with light touch, reminiscing the precious moment spent with the baby, his soft and wet cheek. "I am lost and messed up, too" She wish she could have told him the truth. But you couldn't possibly say such thing in front of a frightened baby. Her mind wandered off back in time, somewhere in the past, perhaps when she was four. She once ventured the world outside her house out of curiosity and did not know how to return. She remembered that mixture of feeling which fear certainly dominated. And her mother's tears, she would never forget the figure of her mother, collapsing in front of the house.
She hoped she did something to make this memory of his less frightening, less traumatizing. For her, she would always remember, today was the day she was kissed by a very handsome boy, whom she believed in the next 15 years would break the hearts of many girls.
Alone once again, the clock merely made a move. She collected luggage and was about to stand up. Piano... Music... Painting... Decorating... Writing... When was the last time she played music for herself? She practiced and practiced one particular piece of music, a promise she kept, she then fulfilled.
She wondered if that particular person whom she burn her heart on the piano could hear it, the very thought made she smile, a soft one, a nostalgia one, an almost painful one... Music traveled, right? How far? Would it reach heaven, would he laugh at her mistakes? Would he be able to forgive my clumsiness? She knew she was no match toward him, the master of the violin while she barely return to music school, without thinking of the emptiness her teacher left the day she drown. Like the little mermaid who danced her heart out with the ever graceful smile, she played the piano, each notes despite light or harsh felt like sharp needle bleeding her fingers tip. Yet she played and played.
- What about me? For myself?
Then she sat down again, with a smile... “Here goes, for you”... She whispered breathlessly to herself. Love in the ice, this piece was for her and her alone, for now and for the future, till the day the ice melts back into salty water.
***
She heard a familiar hum – which she dared not turn back, being scared to death that particularly familiar voice would fade away into a sweet depressing dream. Finally when she gathered all the courage, she was mesmerized in the flamboyant shades of red roses - total chaos with the wildest/ widest range of color she had ever seen. For an exchange student, without any friend, without any connection apart from that mere application letter from Seoul University, certainly she could not expect anything of such grand greeting. It was a mess, certainly, but it was her beautiful mess.
It was almost surreal when the particular person who made her heart totally stop for a good longest ten second of her life.
It was him. Not him him but HIM.
He wasn’t the artificial 1.84 meter tall poster but the real 1.82 DBSK’s leader U-Know Yunho. Their eyes locked and their fate sealed.
Please keep looking at me with the same eyes...
Always and forever like this.
***
Somewhere way above, among the clouds and the silver lines, where those hopelessly free gods and goddess always gathered for casual/nonsensical chit chat, some of them had started to put out their shining golden coins and treasure, ever ready for another of their heartless brutal bet. What to do? We human were mere fool, playing by the rules set by the unknowing divines – who never gave a damn or had the slightest idea of the ecstasy to be in love
Or the despair to loose something dear
truly dear.
But their dice, the divine heartless dice had been rolled with perfect sign that put the perfect grin to all their gorgeous faces. Let’s roll up the curtain, and let the show begin.
